I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
