she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize