Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
