bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
