He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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