I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
