I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
