I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
