Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
