the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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