And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
