i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Alive.
So much puke
This is my gift to your gina
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
