After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
