That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
