3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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