the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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