Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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