I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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