Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
that is very illegal...i love you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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