Non-Jews are for practice
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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