i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She bit a glass in half.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
