I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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