if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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