woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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