I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
