can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
