Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
