thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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