I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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