10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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