I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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