you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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