why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
