just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
