i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
