i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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