i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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