Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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