He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
