New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
