Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
