already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize