no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
