i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
