What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she told me i tasted like america
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
