I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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