I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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