I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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