I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
