I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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