4 words: hood of his car
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
