My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
