Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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