Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
