I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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