i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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