walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
