drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize