What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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