you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
