anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
