i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
