Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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