Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i think i just lost a toe
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
