I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
