And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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