i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
