he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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